So, I’ve lived through a lot in my 30+ years of life and I hear time and again how I should write down all of these things I’ve been through into a book because these kinds of things don’t happen to everyone. Maybe those people are right and maybe they’re wrong. Either way, I’m not doing this for them, I’m doing this for me.
Over the last few years I’ve had some good times and some bad. Right now feels more towards the bad, but honestly I can’t complain much. I have a roof over my head, food to eat and above all, am currently lucky enough to have a full-time, paying job (even if it is only contract work). The thing is though, I also have a lot of other things going on and that whirlwind is the reason I’m starting this.
I am one of those people who feels there is always a better way. That there are options to get to where you want to be. The problem with this is others don’t seem to be so eager about these options. This causes me a lot of frustration and I’m certain others aren’t too thrilled about it either. I don’t know the exact reason why my mind works this way. I have some suspect ideas, but no solid proof and in my world, proof reigns.
It’s hard to always feel right and feel like I have to constantly prove myself just to be heard. I wonder if I have always been this way or if it was something I adopted after all these years of building up a tough exterior to live in reality. Showing vulnerability feels foreign and I hate myself when it happens. Sitting in public and hearing someone say something that strikes a nerve in me. It’s not easy to control.
I guess that’s just one part. I find more and more, especially recently, that I can’t stop myself from telling people what I really think. Being honest is one thing, but when you tell your boss that they aren’t doing their job, well, let’s just say the response was “I don’t think this is working out”.
So, where do you go from there? Saying too much is where this all got started and now, apparently, I think it’s a good idea to share it all with you. I don’t know where this will go, or for how long, but you’re welcome to come along and ride this roller coaster called my life.