People are wired to think differently, and more than the obvious.
- For years I couldn’t understand why people couldn’t learn things like I did. I didn’t study. I didn’t read the books. I just knew the answers. This isn’t the same for everyone. Still strikes me how few others see things in this light. It has also made me realize the importance of patience in explaining some things to people.
A brain hemorrhage can make someone crazy.
- It used to be an excuse or joke that my mother didn’t know what she was talking about after her brain hemorrhage when I was younger. I didn’t really truly believe it, but now that I’m older, and have experienced more in this world, I’ve taken in a great deal of knowledge to believe it to be true. I believe that as her brain healed from the trauma, it needed to wire itself in a different way. I think she lost some emotion in that event, that any compassion she may have felt was lost. There has to be some rational, logical explanation as to why she would want to harm her own child, right?
- Not like better than others, but in general. I’ve reached a point in my life where my values have changed a bit and I’m happy. I look at the things and people around me and it’s not bad. I have friends, who like myself, get it. They know they can be honest with me and they know I will be honest with them. That I will point out things to them that they may not like about themselves, but I’ve found that telling them in such a way as to let them truly think about it for themselves, they see where I’m coming from. I also have a career that, even though I’m not always sure I’m on the right path, I know I’m on a path that has led me to meet a LOT of great individuals and through the jobs and organizations I’ve been involved in, I’ve earned a lot of respect. It’s very humbling to have people come to you that you would normally see as mentors and they ask for your help. Through this I’ve learned that I’m doing things right. Maybe in a bit of an unorthodox way, but at the end of it all, right nonetheless.
I’ve learned who true friends can be.
- And that these friends change over time. The ones that really matter to me are the ones who are there.
A conscience decision to change things in your life can take you a long way, and probably not in ways you expect.
- I used to feel very unspecial. Always the outsider, and learned to accept and like that, but at the same time, I found a way to use that to my advantage. If everyone did the same things it would be a very boring world. Having watched my mother and grandmother constantly worry about every little thing and having many people die over the last few years, I decided I didn’t want to waste my life worrying. Life is too short for that. I want to die with no regrets. And honestly, right now I could say that would be true. I see people talk about how miserable they are, but they don’t realize they have the power to change the things that they are unhappy about.
I’m starting over…again.
- New place, new job, new friends (to add to the old ones), new experiences and who know what else. Sometimes you need a fresh start and while many might be afraid to leave much of what they know, there’s something in that struggle to survive that always pushes me forward. I’m not leaving it all behind, but I’m adding a new chapter, which leads me to…
Yes, I’m a good writer.
- I write well. Maybe not always grammatically correct (inside joke), but it’s something that I’ve found as an outlet many, many times over the years. Just recently have I started letting others read it. I have had many the person who has told me I should write a book about my life, and I can’t say I’ve not thought about it, numerous times. In a way I view this as a start to that project. And with all the recent events, I’m starting to believe now is the time for me to potentially pursue that thought. So, I’ve decided to do a few things:
- After I get moved, I plan to find myself a counselor. There have been a LOT of changes for me and I want to make sure I process them all in a healthy way.
- I’m going to meet new people and not hole up in my new home.
- I’m going to find a writer, editor or publisher to talk about organizing my thoughts for this book.
I’ll keep you updated.